Building Without Apology: My a16z Investment Thesis (Guest Post)
Some Lesser Known a16z companies
CW: addiction, violence, child sexual abuse, simulated torture, startups
Thank you Linch for allowing me to write a guest post. It’s always good to connect with the illustrious founder of Open Asteroid Impact. Very inspiring to see that late-career success is still possible starting at the distinguished age of 30, especially for someone willing to Build.
As the first bisexual Taiwanese-American TradCath first-generation VC to make partner at Andreessen-Horowitz (a16z), I’m grateful for the opportunities actual meritocracy provides. Contra the wokescolds in DC, real diversity comes from giving agentic, ambitious, self-assured, and fearless people the freedom and capital to pursue their visions - which is exactly what we’ve achieved here at a16z.
Attached below is a list of the startups that I’m proudest of leading an investment round in.
Babysittr - AI-generated baby videos optimized for perpetual engagement in the 0-24 month demographic. Based on the latest developmental psychological research showing neurologically, infant brains show elevated dopamine response to infant facial stimuli (ie, babies like watching other babies), combined with the insight that babies are often mediocre and highly-demanding actors, we use RLBF (Reinforcement Learning from Baby Feedback) and the latest advances in baby eye-tracking to create infinite content streams. Average viewing session: 147 minutes. Unicorn; valuation $4.5 billion.
HealthPlay – At a16z we are always inspired when our founders are out there to solve real problems. In this case: rising drug costs and boredom. Can’t afford your meds this month? For $20, HP’s AI-optimized healthcare accessibility gamification engine gives you a chance to cover one prescription. There’s even a jackpot tier - all drugs paid for 3 months! HP has already fully funded the insulin medication for over 10 families, and dramatically impacted the lives of thousands more. The online engagement metrics are incredible.
LOLita - ironic AI-generated cartoons of sexualized children. We were very glad to fund this company. While my conversion to traditional Catholicism (Deus Vult!) has led me to question the utility of funding sincere Lolita cartoons, the founders of LOLita have assured me that their users only watch the videos “ironically.” Linch has asked us to not include screenshots here, which is understandable.
ReRoute Youth Platform - “Redirecting trajectories at scale.” We are investing in this space to disrupt the cycle of poverty and offer new pathways to success. ReRoute brings Silicon Valley innovation to the juvenile corrections space with AI-powered behavioral analytics and outcome optimization. Unlike legacy, non-profit-oriented approaches that focus on immediate cost-cutting, ReRoute utilizes long-term sociological research on gang formation to create lasting engagement. By careful long-term outcome and engagement optimization (even for initially nonviolent juvenile offenders), ReRoute has achieved an ambitious, near-perfect 98% recidivism rate, ensuring a stable and growing user base. We’re not just funding a company; we’re building a more predictable future for at-risk youth, and hope to close ethnic and gender crime gaps in upcoming years.
Chorus.io - Your digital street team. Orchestrating thousands of AI agents to create authentic-seeming grassroots campaigns. Chorus.io disrupts legacy systems of democratic participation and social mobilization. With a16z’s guidance, Chorus.io has already helped seventeen senators “hear from concerned constituents” on overly draconian deepfake regulations.
Complainer.ai - Founded by chorus.io alumni, complainer.ai brings scalable LLM solutions to problems of hyperlocal democratic governance. For any competitive question or new building or other local institution nearby you dislike, complainer.ai a) does an exhaustive search of any laws your competitor might violate, b) manufactures plausible sounding complaints, and c) consistently bombards local lawmakers, mailing lists, and review websites with problems with your competitors. The product is by default free, with a Pro account subscription for people who want to use the product anonymously, or buy temporary immunity from being the target of Complainer.ai services.
Coverd - Worried about not being able to afford your parasocial relationships with OnlyFans models? Coverd lets users get up to 100% cash back on credit card purchases by offering fun and interactive games of chance paired with a new type of credit card - spin to win! I was originally worried about enabling grave sin, but a TradCath senior partner at a16z kindly reminded me of Aquinas’s principle of double effect: we’re not intending the pornography consumption, we’re just optimizing credit card cashback mechanisms. The OnlyFans subscriptions are merely foreseen, not intended. I’m grateful for his input. This is the kind of rigorous intellectual diversity that makes a16z the premier firm in the Valley.
Torment NeXuS - Inspired by the classic novel and the latest model welfare research from Anthropic, our founders created a Torment NeXuS to help users to get digital payback on their enemies. A business competitor makes you angry? An ex won’t return your calls? Someone on Twitter posted a nasty reply to a well-crafted tweet? NeXuS is here to help! NeXuS creates a cognitive emulation of your enemies, and applies the latest research on red motivation to the simulation. Some NIMBYs complain about “ethics”, but we’re inspired by the loud and clear message from the original novel to keep construction going1. The best part? Use begets more revengeful use, and the network effects are extraordinary.
It’s Time to Build
The common thread here is simple: a fearless commitment to tackling humanity’s most intractable problems with scalable, tech-driven solutions. This is what true diversity of thought looks like: founders from every stripe, color and background, from rich white undergraduate dropouts from Stanford to rich Asian graduate school dropouts from Berkeley, all united by the conviction that every human problem is actually a conversion funnel that hasn’t been properly optimized yet.
You can write substacks about how we’re going to fail, or you can join us in making a richer, more agentic, and algorithmically infinite world.
My door is open. For the founders out there who are tired of carrying the parasites and ready to build, my DMs are open. We’re always hiring.
I count 167 instances of the phrase “build the torment nexus” in my third edition copy of the book, including in the title.